


My Life Is Over and I Couldn't Be Happier

by DawnDragon32



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Supernatural Elements, Do NOT copy to another website, M/M, No Proof Reader We Die Like Men, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Ronan Lynch, Past Joseph Kavinsky/Ronan Lynch But i didn't want it in the tag cause i know how much it sucks, Ronan is Enby but Masc Representing, This fic is about Ronan being pregnant, What is a first draft?? There is only One Draft., band au, cause I got a bad case of baby fever, might be OOC but like. That's just kinda how I wanted it to be??, oh hey they actually get together in this fic though, oh uhhh, past toxic relationship, these tags are out of order and i cant get them to be in order wtf?, to see a new fic in your tag and then have it not be about them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:00:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25255009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DawnDragon32/pseuds/DawnDragon32
Summary: He knew where he was going, but he was hoping he was still welcome. It didn't take long to get there, just across town, maybe 15 minutes going how fast he was. As he pulled in he realized he should have gone the speed limit, will have to start going the speed limit, this isn't just about him anymore, the whole reason for leaving in the first place.
Relationships: Richard Gansey III/Ronan Lynch
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!! I wanted to get something out of the way before we start. Ronan is enby in this fic, not trans. Yes this is very important to me and I'm pointing it out cause I don't want comments about how I use some afab language, and how it's not how a trans person would talk, and that's cause Ronan isn't trans, and I kinda just gave him my own gender. So please understand that. 
> 
> Please enjoy, and as always see the end notes for my long ass rambling I do while I write, lol. But it basically outlines the entire fic, so maybe wait to read them if you don't want spoilers

Six weeks:

Ronan knew he shouldn't be driving, didn't know how much over the limit he was going, couldn't really see the speedometer, his vision fuzzy. From the black eye, or maybe from how watery his eyes where, Ronan didn't know which.

As soon Kavinsky had thrown the punch Ronan had packed a bag, grabbed his guitar and laptop and gotten out as fast as he could. It was going to be the first and last time he punched him.

He knew where he was going, but he was hoping he was still welcome. It didn't take long to get there, just across town, maybe 15 minutes going how fast he was. As he pulled in he realized he should have gone the speed limit, will have to start going the speed limit, this isn't just about him anymore, the whole reason for leaving in the first place.

Ronan sat in the car for a few minutes. The light was on in Monmouth, not surprising. He couldn't bring himself to get out of the car. The last time he had been here, he had said some things he didn't mean, not lies, not really at the time, but not the truth. Gansey hadn't said anything, but that was almost worse than telling him not to come back.

The door to Monmouth was open, and Gansey was walking toward the car. He was in cargo pants and a t-shirt, a rare sight. Ronan got out of the car before Gansey could make it all the way there. He couldn't let Gansey see the passenger seat, not just yet. The whole reason. Gansey took one look at him, the mess his face was, his own face pinching in that way that it did when he thought his care would be met with loud voices, and nodded his head once. He thought that Ronan was just here for the night. Like the last time. And all the times before since Ronan had moved out of Monmouth. But this time Ronan took a deep breath to try and steady himself to ask.

"Can I stay?" His voice was still shaky, choked up.

Gansey started to say something, nodding his head again, but Ronan cut him off with a shake of his;

"No, can I stay?"

Gansey's face dropped to something very blank, void of all emotion, which meant he was trying very hard not to show how angry that one question made him. It's what he wanted but he knew that something much worse than before had happened for him to be asking. But he nodded.

"Of course Ronan."

Ronan nodded and walked back to the open car door, reaching in he grabbed his bag from the back, unzipped it, stuffed the thing in the passenger seat in and zipped it back shut. He slung it over his shoulder, slammed the door and got in the trunk for his guitar and laptop and slammed that shut too; and walked into Monmouth for the first time in months.

Gansey had got a bottle of water and was holding it out to him. Ronan could remember putting his guitar and laptop in his old room (nothing was touched, all his notebooks filled with nonsense lyrics, and doodles of even more nonsense, still on his desk and spilling from shelves. Not even his bed had been touched, and was still in the same mess he'd left it in), but only vaguely, as if he did it on autopilot. He was on the couch in the main room, just staring at the big windows, and Gansey's bed, and now, the water Gansey was holding out. Which he had been doing for awhile, but before Ronan could make his hands move, Gansey sat next to him and sat the water on the floor beside them.

"Ronan, what happened?"

Gansey was trying very hard to hold back how furious he sounded, but Ronan could still hear it, and the conseren. He didn't hate it right at this moment. He needed all the help he could get.

Instead of talking, Ronan unzipped his bag, now at his feet, pulled out the thing and held it out for Gansey to see. His face went pale while he looked, and then he looked to Ronan's face, and then back to his hands.

Well, to the positive pregnancy test in Ronan's hands.

Ronan clinched his hand around it, trying to stop it from shaking, but it didn't help. He couldn't look at Gansey anymore, so he shut his eyes as tight as he could, trying to also stop more tears, but it didn't work, in fact it just made his now swollen eye sting again, and made them water more.

"I did 6 of them." He didn't have to say they were all positive. He knew Gansey would understand.

Gansey didn't say anything for a long time, and then Ronan flinched back a little as Gansey's fingertips touched lightly below Ronan's right eye, the one Kavinsky punched. Ronan opened his eyes and watched Gansey's face closely. Ronan Lynch didn't flinch. But Gansey chose not to comment on that.

"He found out you are pregnant, and his first instinct was to punch you?" Gansey didn't even try to hide his furry.

Ronan shook his head, sighed and took another deep breath.

"No, his first instinct was to tell me to get rid of it. And then when I told him no, that's when he punched me".

Gansey drew his hand back, his own fingers clenching. He stood up, threw his hands in the air before basically storming around the couch. Ronan stared after him for a second, watched him storm back to the hall.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to kill him!"

Ronan would very much like to watch that, but he got up and caught up to Gansey, where he was trying to stuff his feet into his shoes, but he was too angry to even see straight; and grabbed his arm to stop him.

"I'd rather have your lawler fight him for custody, then to get you out for murdering him, dick."

Gansey just looked at him, clearly thinking this was no time for jokes, even if Ronan wasn't just joking, but then all the fight drained right out of him, and he grabbed the back of Ronan's neck and pulled him into a freice hug. Ronan warped his arms as tight around Gansey as he dared.

"You're taking my bed tonight, your sheets need washed." Gansey's voice was muffled, but right below his ear.

"And why would I do that, the couch is just fine."

"Ronan, you are pregnant, and I will not let a pregnant person sleep on my old couch."

"Well, when you put it that way."

-

Ronan woke in Gansey's bed to the sound of Gansey trying to talk quietly on the phone in the kitchen bathroom laundry room, but Ronan could hear he was talking to Blue.

"Yes, Blue I know you have never been pregnant, but- no, no, that's not what I'm saying, I'm just trying to- oh"

Ronan couldn't help the grin stretching across his face. Gansey and his big mouth. Ronan was not mad that Gansey told Blue, but Gansey had called Blue because she had a vagina, and therefore knew about things like babies.

Ronan stood and yawned. He had not slept well, trying very hard not to roll onto his stomach, though he didn't think it mattered just yet how he slept, he still woke himself everytime he started to roll over. 

He made his way to the kitchen to maybe help Gansey. Or maybe just to watch him flounder around while trying not to stick his foot in his mouth more than he already had. He also had to pee very badly. And he might be sick. No, he was going to be sick.

Ronan walked into the room, pointed at Gansey and then pointed to the door, before leaning over the toilet and heaving. Ronan heard footsteps, away he assumed, but then Gansey's hand was in the middle of his back and rubbing in small circles, which helped, mostly because Gansey had stayed.

"Yes, Jane, thank you. Yeah, see you in a couple weeks. Bye".

Jane, not Blue, so they weren't fighting at least.

"She's going to text us some book titles, do you feel like going out today?"

Ronan flipped him off at an odd angle, still leaning over the toilet.

After heaving up the nothing that had been in his stomach, and then peeing and showering, and eating as much as he could of one of Gansey's yogurts, they did go out to get books.

The cashier at Barnes and Noble gave the two of them an odd look, but it didn't matter. What to expect when you're expecting, and what to expect when your spouse is expecting, and so many more books about all this shit. Ronan let Gansey pick most of them out. He found one that wasn't scientific though, 'punk parents guide to punk babies'. They were an intimidating stack, but he was going to read them all.

After books they went grocery shopping to try to find light foods that Ronan might be able to eat. Lots of saltines were added to the cart, pasta, and more yogurt, cause while it hadn't helped settling how his stomach felt, it hadn't made it worse, so that was a win for it in his book.

The first thing Ronan did after they got home was strip his bed down. When that was in the wash he took a look around the room, found an empty notebook, and started to write.

He wrote for hours. His writing process started by writing down all of what he was feeling, and then going back and writing lyrics from those feelings. Sometimes songs happened. Most of the time they didn't. Sometimes he went back and found he had already written a song that fit how he was feeling at the moment. But after writing and picking through past things he had written, Ronan felt he actually had enough for the first full album for Dream Thieves. It was all very personal, but that was the point.

Ronan stood and stretched, and went to get his sheets, sure they would have to be washed again with how long he left them in the washing machine, only to turn and find his bed already made. Ronan blinked at it for a little bit, before having too look away, cause he was getting emotioanl over a fucking bed (Or the man that had made it for him, but Ronan wouldn’t let himself think about that). Walking into the main room/Gansey's room, Ronan found Gansey sitting on the couch, reading one of the many books they had gotten earlier that day. He was half way through one of the books about being around people who are expecting. Ronan got a warm feeling knowing Gansey was planning on sticking with him through this.

Ronan went to the kitchen and grabbed another shitty yogurt, before walking to the couch and sitting on the other end and grabbing one of the closest books about actually being pregnant. 

Before Ronan could really get into the book, Gansey handed him a piece of paper. Ronan took it and found a list of phone numbers, one column that said out of state and one that said in.

"OB/GYN. I thought you'd want to try to keep this under wraps as long as you could, but I couldn't be sure." Gansey was trying very hard to be casual about it, but this meant a lot, this was one thing off his plate that he didn't know he needed off it.

"I'll call around some tomorrow, and then I'll call my doctor. I need to let them know I'm going off T for the foreseeable future."

Gansey nodded, and then they both went back to their books.

7 Weeks:

Ronan sat in his car looking out at the building. It was ten til his appointment and he really didn't want to go in. But he had driven almost 4 hours to get here, going as far as he dared in hopes that people would be less likely to notice him. He was glad he had the excuse of this being his first pregnancy and being overly cautious so he got away with wearing a mask and sunglasses. But he was still pretty recognizable. He looked around and tried to make sure no one had seen him, before getting out and trying not to basically run into the building.

Ronan should have let Gansey come along like he had wanted too, but he had insisted on doing this himself.

Walking up to the desk to let them know he was here was more excruciating than walking in.

The receptionist looked up, and smiled at him.

"Do you have an appointment? Name?"

"Lynch"

Her eyes widened only a fraction before going back to being professional, and checking papers.

"Well, it says here you're just on time, I'll let Dr. Boxx know you're here. You can sit down if you'd like, but I don't expect it to take too long"

Ronan turned and leaned on the wall near the chairs of the waiting area. The room was empty except for one other person and their baby. They were rocking the child and not paying attention to him at all.

Gansey had done as much research as he could in the short amount of time he had been given, but he had found all the places that were Trans friendly and within a day's drive from where they lived. 

He just hoped the nurse was going to keep her mouth shut about who he was.

The nurse walked back into the room, and smiled at him.

"Dr. Boxx is ready to see you know."

She didn't announce his name to the room, so at least there's that. She probably would keep this to herself.

She led him to a room four doors down the hall she had disappeared down earlier. The walls were a light lavender color, and the furniture was all white. There were windows high up on the wall, small and frosted with blinds. There was a mirror on one side of the room, and Ronan looked even more dark and menacing surrounded by all the light colors. There were diagrams on the walls of all the different stages of child growth, and Ronan couldn't look away from the 4-6 week one. That's what his body was doing right now. It was strange in a way he couldn't articulate. The door opened, and Ronan forced his eyes away from the pictures on the walls.

Dr. Boxx was a 5'6 lady in her late thirties. She had long ash blond hair, and her aesthetic matched the room. All light colors. She even had a Hello Kitty pen sticking out of her lilac lab coat's pocket. She smiled warmly at him.

"Good afternoon Mr. Lynch, you can have a seat and take off your mask and we'll get started."

Ronan sat on the table bed thing, and cringed as the paper made weird crackling noises. Pulling off his mask he watched as Dr.Boxx sat on a spinny chair near the desk, and pulled out a file and her Hello Kitty pen.

"How far along are you? Or do you know?"

"I think somewhere around 6 weeks"

"Ok. We are going to do a physical, weigh you in, measure your hight, blood pressure, and take a little blood things like that."

Ronan had read up on everything they needed to do beforehand, and just nodded along.

When they got through everything, the doctor nodded.

"Looks like you're very healthy, a little on the slim side, but I'm a little concerned about the bruising around your eye..." She trailed off, and did look very concerned.

"Sperm donor didn't take it well that I'm keeping the baby. I haven't seen him since." 

He wasn't going to beat around the bush, and he knew she was trying to make sure he wasn't somewhere they would get hurt.

She nodded, satisfied with the answer.

"All that's left is an ultrasound to hear the baby's heartbeat."

She told him to lay back on the bed, and lift his shirt up. The jelly she put on was very cold, but the shot was the worst, just cause he saw it coming. Dr. Boxx was great, talking him through the entire process.

The wand was cold as it pressed to his skin, and moved around, but then it paused, and she turned the screen towards him.

"You see here?" She circled an area with her finger. He nodded. It was a little tiny thing in a sea of blackness that he knew was his uterus.

"That’s your baby. And that is their heartbeat." She smiled at him.

She told him some other things about the heart beat, how long it was, and how that was a good length. She also told him his due date as far as they could tell, she would know more when the blood work came back, but they expected it to be sometime in Dec.

They scheduled an appointment in two weeks, and the doctor printed off a picture of the ultrasound, and had let him record a little bit of it on his phone so he could hear the heart beat again later.

Ronan made it all the way to the car before he lost it. 

He sat there, leg folded up so he could lean the arm holding the picture away from his face so he wouldn't cry all over it. He placed it back in the file, sat it in the passenger seat and started the car up to go home.

-

Gansey looked out from the kitchen as soon as Ronan walked into the door. There was someone talking in the kitchen.

"Yeah, I can put up a wall here sometime later this week, and we can reroute the power and water, and add more appliances, easy."

Gansey turned back to the room.

"Yes, that would be amazing."

A contractor walked out of the room as Ronan passed, and then said something else to Gansey about the room, before he heard Gansey thank him, and then the front door shut.

Ronan didn't say anything about the contractor, just raised an eyebrow which Gansey shrugged off. Ronan held out the file to him. Gansey eagerly took it, and flipped it open. His eyes paused on the ultrasound before moving to quickly read all the notes, and then back to the picture. He smiled and then looked back to Ronan, but Ronan just shoved his phone at him, and the video started playing. His baby's heartbeat rang out a few times before Dr. Boxx's voice repeated how healthy the beat sounded, and how the beats per second were a perfect length apart.

Gansey's eyes shifted from the screen to Ronan's face, then to Ronan's stomach.

"I'm not showing yet," Ronan said with a snort and roll of his eyes.

Gansey ignored it, his smile turning even more soft as his eyes moved back up to Ronan's face.

"I know".

Nine Weeks:

Ronan was staring at his reflection in the full length bathroom mirror. He was looking at his stomach. Well. At his very small baby bump. The skin was starting to pull tight, and Ronan absently thought about getting one of those creams or oils that's supposed to help stop stretch marks, but what's a few more scars. He hadn't known he was pregnant for very long before he started showing, hadn't gotten used to the idea yet, even with Gansey reminding him everyday.

"Ronan, don't eat that, it's bad for the baby." "No Ronan, you can't have caffeine anymore, it's bad for the baby" "Yes, I know I'm using my parents money, which I said I'd never do again, but if you and the baby are living here, then we are going to have a proper kitchen and bathroom and maybe they will consider this a good present instead of sending us a black minivan" (a black Toyota Sienna was in their driveway the next week) "do you want to get a crib now? I know it’s rather soon, but I figured it'd be a good idea to get used to it in your room before the baby gets here". (Ronan immediately ordered a black side sleeper, it matched his own bed frame perfectly, and it was a good idea to have it in the room already, cause he had kicked it twice and he didn’t want to do that when a baby was sleeping in it).

Gansey was actually being great. While he was being more protective he was also still treating Ronan like Ronan. He didn't try to stop him from doing stupid shit more then he normally would have, he just had a better way if getting his own way. Which was fine, cause his way was also Ronan's for the time being, which was putting the babies safety before anything else. It made the knots in his stomach do different things. One loosened, one tightened.

He had been back to the OB/GYN the day before, his blood work had come back. Turns out he was a week or so farther along then he originally thought, but other than that everything was perfectly healthy, and he had a due date of Dec 29th. 

There were no problems there.

No, the problem was that, Ronan passed very well as amab.

Ronan is very open about being nonbinary, the flag even painted on the back if his dark wash jean jacket that he had worn to almost all of Dead Kings concerts, and was almost never seen without normally off stage too, and he told every interviewer who asked that he is enby. But he had never been open about his agab. But he was part of a very popular band, even if they were on a two year hiatus, they still made music news everytime Gansey even slightly hinted at the fact that he was writing music on the bands twitter. Ronan was not ready to give up the fact that he didn't have a dick in his pants.

And it wasn't that he didn't have one that was the issue, it was the fact that he would no longer keep the fans guessing, that there would be no more conflict in the comments of fanfiction, that he could no longer tell off fuckwad reporters, that he would no longer be able to say "a knife" when someone asks him what's in his pants, because everyone will know, and while Ronan omitted this truth, he didn't lie, and everyone will know.

He's pregnant, he's having a baby.

Ronan gently ran his fingers over the very small baby bump.

It was much easier to stop T then he thought it was going to be. He had called and asked his doctor two days after moving back into Monmouth, and had his prescription paused for the next 8 months, and when he told the doctor why, it was very easy.

While T had never stopped his period, only lessened the worst if it, it had never fully stopped it. Which he was a little grateful for, he had gotten into some shit with Kavinsky, and if he hadn't missed a month and started getting sick he might not have put two and two together and then the baby might have gotten hurt.

But he was also not happy about going off T. He knew he had too, had even planned on doing it one day, when he was more prepared to have kids, but well. Here we are.

He didn't not want the baby, in fact, he was very excited about having them. But he wasn't happy about a lot of the circumstances. The timing. 

The sperm donor. 

He knew, in his heart, that blood doesn't make family, had spent a lot of time reminding Adam of that, but fuck his brain was so mad that it was Kavinsky's. He would love this baby no matter what, and they would be his, and he knew no matter what that the moment he laid eyes on them that he would love them. 

He already did, he loved the baby bump, he loved the thought of them growing inside him, he loved looking at the chart Adam had sent and seeing how big they where (the size of a cherry), he loved being pregnant, but fuck.

Kavinsky. 

It couldn't have been anyone else? If it had been Adam. They hadn't worked out, but at least it had been real. They still love each other, even if they dont love each other the same way, they would have done this well together. 

Ronan wouldn't let himself think of Gansey as the child's father, as much as he wanted to. It doesn't matter, it's not Gansey's and it's not Adam's, no matter how much he wished. 

It's Kevinsky's. 

But most importantly it's Ronan's. That's what he needs to focus on.

But it was hard to focus on, especially with his hormones raging the way they were, in a way he knew had nothing to do with his first missed dose of T in 3 years, and everything to do with the tiny human inside him.

He didn't think he had ever cried more than he had this past month, and that's saying something considering all the shit that happened last year.

Adam and Blue would be here soon, and that was also making him feel very mixed emotions. He hadn't seen Adam in person since they broke up, and Blue since he had moved out of Monmouth (she had been there to try and talk him out of it too), and while he had talked to them, and they were all on ok terms, he didn't know how they would react to him now.

There was a knock on the front door, and Ronan heard Gansey move to go get it. Ronan grabbed his black ribbed tank and pulled it back down over his lower stomach. It did nothing to hide how his stomach slightly protruded, but it was better than staring at his skin. He walked out to see Gansey and Adam hugging, and he could hear Adam mutter something about Henry being by later with dinner. 

Blue's eyes flicked to him. She smiled, walked right up to him and threw her arms around his chest, higher than before, watching where she put them, and Ronan had a moment of being thankful, cause if she had put them lower he might have flinched back. The top of her head still just barely reached his collarbone.

"I thought you said you were gonna grow two inches the next time I saw you" He joked as he put his arms around her. Her giggle shook through him.

"Yeah, well you said some shit that you knew wasn't true then as well."

He didn't correct her, cause he had.

"God, I missed you so much." She whispered it so Adam and Gansey didn't hear, but he knew they did cause he could see Adam's face as his eyebrows drew in, and Gansey as he had to cover his mouth with his hand for a second.

"I fucking missed you too."

When she pulled back Adam took her spot, but only for a minute before they all broke apart and went to sit on the couch in the living room, and their meeting started. 

It was during break, Gansey showing off the new kitchen and bathroom, and Blue making a weird cup of tea that her mom sent for Ronan that he decided to tell them he had a whole album ready for Dream Thieves.

"Ronan, that's amazing, send me the files and I'll get my part done." Blue was smiling at him, but also watching to make sure he drank the tea. It tasted like flowers. The others nodded, and looked happy as well.

He took a deep breath. How could they just invite him back into their lives like this when he had been a piece of shit to them. He said as much. Everyone's face went to different things, but they were all concerned. Finally Gansey spoke up.

"Ronan, you were going through a lot of things. And while I wished you hadn't done what you did, you will always be my best friend, and I will always support you." 

Blue agreed quietly, while Adam said something about whatever he needed they would be there for him.

While it was what he needed to hear it still made him feel like shit. What had he done to deserve them? He had spent the last year pushing them away. And he was crying again.

After they had all calmed down, Ronan drank the rest of the awful tea (Blue said he should drink it once a day, and that it would help, that it was an old herb that if he took it while he was pregnant, labor would be a breeze.) and then they got back to business. Gansey talked about how he had about six songs, and Adam said he had a couple, so they would have enough for an album instead of an ep, and that got Gansey excited. When Henry showed up with chinese take out and a bottle of wine, cause no one had told him yet that Ronan couldn't drink, they had all curled up on the couch to watch some shitty movie.

"What's that for?" 

Gansey was eyeing the bottle.

"Well, to celebrate, both Dead Kings come back, and Ronan's"

"I can't, I'm pregnant."

It was a good thing Adam was standing next to Henry, cause he dropped the bottle. Maybe telling people wouldn't be so bad if they all had reactions like this.

Twelve Weeks:

Ronan had sent all the files for The Dream If Over to the rest of the members that morning, and Gansey had disappeared into their in-home studio to work on what he had sent. 

After Noah, they had turned his old room into a studio. They didn’t want the room to sit empty, and this helped not have to rent out space when they needed to record, but sometimes it still hurt to open the door and not see Noah sitting there.

Ronan couldn’t believe that this was happening. Even if it was the only album that he made as Dream Thieves, he made an album which is enough to prove Declan wrong.

Which reminded him he needed to tell Declan. He hadn’t even told anyone outside of the band, not even Matthew. Maybe he would kill two birds with one stone and tell them at the same time. Ronan wasn’t worried about telling Matthew, he knew Ronan loved kids and wanted some one day, so Matthew would be happy for him. Declan would probably start yelling, especially when he found out who the sperm donor was. Maybe if he told him in a fancy restaurant with Matthew there he wouldn’t have to sit through getting a long lecture. 

Probably not, but it was that hopeful thinking that made him open the group text for the first time that month and ask ‘dinner tomorrow? Somewhere fancy.’ Declan immediately texted back 

‘Who did you kill?’

Ronan rolled his eyes and didn’t answer. It didn’t matter Matthew was texting excitedly about some place that had opened that had wood fired pizza, and Ronan texted that that sounded amazing. And so he was meeting his brothers for dinner the next night.

Gansey came out to where Ronan was sitting on the couch, reading a different book about being pregnant, even though after the first couple they realized that most of them repeated information, this was about being trans and pregnant. And even though Ronan was enby, not Trans, it was still interesting to read. Gansey sat next to him and handed him a flash drive.

“Didn’t even have to mail it to you this time.” He was smiling big, Ronan smiled back and took the flash drive from him.

Ronan liked to try and have all the music for Dream Thieves be one take, and while he has had Blue or Adam redo some things, Gansey had always gotten what Ronan wanted in the one.

“I’m meeting Declan and Matthew for dinner tomorrow. Gonna tell them.” 

Gansey’s face turned thoughtful.

“Do you want me to go with you?”

Ronan shook his head, and then thought for a second.

“Maybe you could come along but not sit with us? I don’t think I’ll want to drive after.”

Gansey nodded.

Ronan had worn his jean jacket, even though it was June. He was showing just enough that his brothers would know the second he walked in the door, and the jean jacket was just baggy enough that it covered. But it was also recognizable. He knew he couldn’t hide it forever, but something about the fact that there was a big possibility that he was telling the rest of the world he’s pregnant while he told his brothers didn’t settle well in his stomach.

The waitress showed Ronan to the table, after Gansey had given his arm a squeeze and smile. His brothers hadn’t changed much since he had last seen them.

When Matthew spotted him he jumped up to hug him, and said his name as loud as he dared in the restaurant but Ronan held out a hand to stop him. He would hug him after he told him, and he knew he crushed his heart by stopping him in that moment, but Matthew had taken to picking people up when he hugged them these days.

Ronan looked to the table, and noticed that there was only wine. He turned to the waitress and asked for some water. It wasn’t til after she walked before Declan spoke.

“Ronan Lynch, declining alcohol in favore water? Who are you and what have you done with my brother.” Declan was both joking and being serious. And instead of answering, Ronan took off his jacket and hung it over the back of his chair.

They both looked to his belly. Matthew’s eyes going wide, and Declan’s narrowing. This time when Matthew went to gently put his arms around Ronan, he let him.

The waitress came back with water and they all sat down. The waitress gave Ronan an odd look that he ignored in favor of looking at Declan. 

“Is Gansey a proud father?” He finally said. Ronan didn’t answer.

“Ok, Adam? You got back with Adam. Ronan please just don’t tell me you let Joseph fucking Kavinsky knock you up.”

“Then I won’t.”

“Ronan.” 

He said it in a way that meant he would be shouting if he was anywhere but here. Score one for that plan.

“It was an accident, and I am not with him anymore, I should have left months ago.” It was all Ronan could say.

The waitress brought pizza. Apparently they had ordered before Ronan got there, and knew what he liked. Well, here’s hoping the pulm (they were the size of a plum this week) liked it. From just the smell he could tell that this was something he was going to be able to eat.

After wolfing down half his pizza Matthew started asking questions;

“How far along are you?” “Twelve weeks” “Do you know what you're having yet?” “Not for another 4 weeks” “Do you have names picked?” “Just one” “Do you have ultrasound pictures?” Ronan pulled out his wallet, which has a copy of his first and most recent ultrasounds in it. They looked more like a baby in the most recent one.

It wasn’t til after he showed them that Declan started asking questions.

“Where are you living?” “With Gansey” “When’s the due date?””December 29th” “Do you have any clue what you are doing?” “When do I ever?” “Are you happy?”

His last question made him pause. He hadn’t thought about it. Was he happy.

He was living with his best friend again. Away from what was probably the biggest mistake of his life. Making music. He was going to have a baby.

“Yes.”

The car ride home was quiet. It wasn’t til they were almost home that Ronan spoke.

“I am happy.”

Gansey didn’t take his eyes off the road but he did make a noise that meant he was listening and currouse.

“I am happy. Living with you. And that you're supporting me, in my decision to keep the baby, and that you're letting me stay. Thank You.”

Gansey didn’t say anything, but he reached over and put his hand on Ronan’s leg and gave a quick squeeze before putting his hand back on the wheel.

When they got home there was a giant box in front of the door. Ronan gave it a curriouse look. But Gansey gave a delighted whoop. 

“It’s here. I’m glad, I ordered it for you a few weeks ago, and even though I paid express shipping it couldn’t get here till now. Perfect timing I think, a prize for making it through dinner?” 

Gansey dragged it inside, but let Ronan open it. Inside was the biggest pillow Ronan had ever seen.

“I could only find gray, I hope it doesn’t mess up your aesthetic too much.” Gansey was delighted as he leaned back on the couch. Ronan just raised an eyebrow at him.

“It’s a pregnancy pillow. It helps support the baby bump, and helps you not roll over. I know that’s something you’ve been worried about.” Gansey said with a shrug.

Ronan ran his hands over the smooth cotton material.

“Help me put it on my bed.”

Later that night Ronan crept into the main room. Gansey was laying in bed but Ronan could tell he wasn’t asleep, for which Ronan was grateful. He walked over and stood over Gansey until Gansey looked up at him.

“What is it this time.”

“Sushi”

Gansey made a face.

“You can't have sushi right now Ronan.”

Ronan made a face back.

“Ice cream.”

Gansey sighed and got up, and grabbed his phone.

Ronan grinned as he grabbed his keys off the coffee table.

Sixteen Weeks:

Ronan couldn’t fit his jeans on his hips anymore. None of them fit. And none of his shirts really fit any more, he had a couple big sleeping shirts stuffed in the back of his closet that he hadn’t gotten rid of, from back before top surgery, they were too comfortable to just throw away. But they fit right now. Ronan stared at the three things that currently fit him laid out on the bed. He sighed and pulled out his phone. Time to maternity shop  
.

Gansey had a meeting with Henry, talking both about getting a Dream Thieves album in marketing and letting him know that Dead Kings was starting to make music again, and when he got back Gansey was taking him to find out the gender of the baby. Ronan was pretty sure he already knew though. 

So Ronan was alone on this discord call with Blue and Adam. The laptop was on the coffee table in front of him, and Ronan on the floor, sitting in a sukhasana. Baby yoga on youtube was an amazing way to pass the time.

"Ronan, are you listening to me?" Blue asked, frustrated.

Ronan looked up from his phone.

"No"

She laughed.

"I asked what it's like being pregnant?"

"I have to pee all the time, I want weird food in the middle of the night, I understand what Gansey means when he used to try to explain his ADHD to us, none of my clothes fit, I'm wearing my thanksgiving sweatpants, but there still too tight and so low I think their going to fall off, and finding punk maternity clothes that are not dresses is exactly as frustrating as it sounds."

He held back up his phone as Blue laughed again and even Adam chuckled. And then it was quiet for a little bit. Ronan started absently rubbing the side of his belly. He started doing that more and more as he got bigger. Gansey liked to joke that he looked like he was a toothpick with an olive on it. Sometimes that's a little like what it felt like. He had never been more thankful for a pillow then he was for the pregnancy pillow. 

"I found some black maternity jeans on Walmart.com of all places." Blue muttered sometime later.

Ronan looked up and nodded his head in thanks.

"Maybe you could just get some cheap XL black shirts from there as well and customize them. Gansey probably would bleach dye them for you." 

Adam was also looking through his phone. Ronan would not fucking cry cause his friends care about him, he wouldn't. He was.

"Ronan, what's wrong?"

Adam's voice was filled with concern, but Ronan just shook his head, and tried to catch his breath before explaining, but knew it was worthless to try that.

"I forgot to mention that all of my feelings are currently connected to my tear ducts. Last night Gansey surprised me with cupcakes, and I fucking burst into tears."

Adam laughed out loud then, and Ronan smiled at both of them.

“Oh, hey did you call ask your doctor about that thing Gansey said you were worried about?” Blue tried to sound like she was mentioning it casually but he could tell she was trying her hardest not to laugh. Even as he could feel heat at the tips of his ears Ronan rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I asked. No my boobs will not grow back. They would have if I had chosen to do an anchor style of top surgery, but since I didn’t I’m good.”

They both laughed, and he joined in.

Ronan sat in the passenger seat. They were on the way to his appointment. Gansey was coming today, cause Ronan was finding out the gender and he didn’t want to do this alone. Gansey hummed along with the radio before he turned it down and asked,

“Have you thought of names yet?”

“Just one.”

“Hmm. Girl or Boy name? Gender neutral?”

“Girl.”

“But what if they’re a boy.”

“They’re a girl”

“If you're so sure why are you going today?”

Ronan just rolled his eyes.

They pulled in and Ronan let out a breath. There were no reporters waiting outside. Someone had snapped a photo from the night that Ronan had told his brothers, but it had been from before he went in and his jacket had covered, luckily. But part of him had still expected someone to be here today. 

Dr. Boxx had taken to making his appointments for days where there were almost no other appointments, and the only time he had seen anyone else had been the first time he came.

Gansey went to sit in the waiting room but Ronan snorted and just motioned him to come with. His face lit up as he walked back with him.

“Good afternoon Ronan. How have you been sleeping?” 

“Better.”

“Hmm, I wouldn’t get used to it, they’ll start kicking soon enough and then you’ll really not sleep well.” She said it with a laugh in her voice, which made Ronan smile a little back.

They went through the normal procedures, weighed in, and she measured around his belly. And then it was time for the ultrasound.

Leaning back Ronan looked at Gansey’s face as Dr.Boxx talked through what she was doing, like she did every time. The jelly was still cold, and as long as he looked at Gansey’s face, there, the wand was pressed right to his belly and he didn’t feel anything after the jelly. Gansey looked at him. Ronan smiled back.

“Ok, there they are. Lets see if we can tell, or if they are being shy.”

She moved the stick around a little, and Ronan turned his attention to the screen. There was his baby. They were taking up more and more space in there. His bladder could definitely tell.

“And there. Congratulations. You’re having a girl. Well, unless she changes her mind later” She added the last bit with a laugh but Ronan was too busy sending a smug look to Gansey, even with the tears in his eyes. He always got emotional after being able to see his baby. He just rolled his eyes at Ronan.

Ronan looked back to the screen.

Twenty Two Weeks:

Ronan couldn’t believe it. Kavinsky, the prick, had outed him to the media as pregnant.

The headline of the article on twitter his phone was open on said as much. Apparently he had done an interview for his band, Sleeping Pills, and someone asked if they were still together. He had laughed and said something about Ronan being a pregnant bitch that went running when he said that he didn’t want kids. 

Ronan was so furious and he didn’t know how to deal with it, so he threw himself into finishing up his album. When he emerged from his room, Gansey was setting up a bassinet in the living area of the room. It was oak, and had open sides, and beside it was a tan plush cover. It fit the room so well that once it was done you would think it had always been there.

“It fits the room”

“Well, yes, not all of her furniture will be as dark as yours.”

“Hmm, but her clothes will be.”

“Ronan. You are not seriously only dressing your daughter in black?”

“And gray.”

Gansey just chuckled. In the living room still in boxes where the black changing table that would also be her dresser. It had tons of space and drawers to put diapers and clothes.

“Adam found me and her matching shirts that say badass and have skulls.”

Gansey just shook his head as he put the cover on the bassinet.

“I need to do an interview don’t I.” It wasn’t really a question.

“Yes.”

“I really don’t want to.”

“I know.”

“You’ll be there?”

“If you’ll let me.”

The interview was with Jordan. She was someone who they had done tons of interviews with before, and she respected Ronan’s gender identity so well that she was one of the only people they actively looked forward to interviews with.

She took one look at him, nodded and set up the table.

The interview was short and to the point. Yes, he and Kavinsky were broken up. Yes he was pregnant. Yes it was Kavinsky’s.

Then they moved on to more important topics.

Dead Kings was going to be in the studio this fall.

And Dream Thieves were releasing an album in two months.

Twitter was trending both #babylynch and their band names.

Twenty Four Weeks:

Ronan couldn’t comfortably drive his car anymore, so when he wanted to go somewhere Gansey always drove. Not like he had anywhere he wanted to go most days, just to Dr.Boxx’s office.

Ronan wasn’t really concerned with that right at the moment. He had just gotten back from a meeting with the doctor in the city, the one that would be delivering his baby. She was nice. It was a nice meeting, and she was only 12 minutes away instead of 4 hours.

But Ronan wasn’t really thinking about that ether. His cd was here. It was coming out in 2 and half weeks, and the first copy was sitting in his hands. It already had 200,000 preorders. But he had yet to let the others listen. He knew Blue and Adam had also got a copy this morning. Had probably already listened. So he handed the copy to Gansey and went to curl up with his pillow.

It was a mistake to put DVP on the album, but it was also one of the best songs he had ever made. But it was about Gansey, and Gansey was about to listen to it. Maybe he wouldn’t put two and two together. But this was Gansey, and Gansey was very good at putting two and two together.

He did end up falling asleep. He woke up to Gansey sitting on the edge of his bed. Gansey was looking at him, and oh. He knew.

“Ronan. When did you write DVP?”

Ronan sat up and sighed, pretending to think about it.

“Oh, two years ago.”

“Two, Ronan! How long have you been in love with me?”

“Since I met you? Wasn’t it obvious?”

“No Ronan, it wasn’t to me!”

“Oh, well. What do you know?”

It was meant to be a rhetorical question.

“That you are an idiot.”

Ronan chuckled before Gansey leaned over and kissed him.

Oh.

They ended up making out on Ronan’s bed, until someone decided to interrupt.

Ronan pulled back with a curse.

“What, what's wrong?”

It took Ronan a second to figure out what was wrong, and then he let out a strained laugh. He grabbed Gansey’s hand and placed it on his stomach.

“Opal’s kicking the shit out of my kidney.” It was also the first time she had ever kicked and he felt it. And the first time he had said her name out loud.

Gansey’s face lit up as he felt it, and then he leaned in and kissed Ronan again. 

“I love you, you magnificent creature” Gansey sighed when he pulled away.

Ronan grinned at him.

“I love you too.”

Thirty Three Weeks:

Ronan woke feeling like he pissed the bed. Which is bad, cause he was currently in Gansey’s bed. Oh. That was definitely not pee if the way the lower half of his body immediately was overtaken by pain meant anything. Ok, this was happening.

“Gansey. Gansey”

“What baby?” He muttered it almost like he was still asleep.

“Opal’s decided she wants out.”

Gansey was out of bed in a flash, grabbing the emergency hospital bag, and helping Ronan out the door and to the car.

“Gonna have to buy you a new bed”

“It’s fine”

“Ok. This hurts worse than I was expecting”

“I think that what people usually think”

Sitting in the passenger seat Ronan noticed they hadn’t changed.

“Gonna have to buy a new car.”

The drive was short. The birth was even shorter. Blue would be very smug that the tea worked. 

One second he was in the worst pain he had ever felt, and the next he was holding a tiny screaming Opal. He was exhausted but he was so happy.

He looked at Gansey who was standing not too far away after being let in by the nurse. He was looking at Ronan like Ronan had hung the fucking moon.

“You want to hold her?”

“Can I?”

“Yeah.”

Ronan was so tired, but he knew Opal was safe in Gansey’s arms, and he let his eyes drift shut.

They wouldn’t let them leave for a couple days since she was preme, but the weekend they got home his brothers were there. They wanted to get the chance to see her. She looked so tiny when Ronan sat her down in the bassinet.

“She is so tiny.” Matthew whispered when it was his turn to look in at her.

Ronan snorted.

“Yeah, cause she’s 7 weeks early.”

“I think a lot of newborns are this tiny anyways.” Declan muttered as he looked over the side as well.

They both looked at her like they would do anything for her. Knowing them, they probably would.

After Declan and Matthew had left for the day, the band came over

Blue had made the tiniest of noises upon seeing her for the time, and Henry had smiled as he put yet another big stuffed bear in the pile by the bassinet, this one had a mohawk. Adam smiled softly at him, and walked forward to see her as well. They all hung around until Ronan started to fall asleep on the couch and then they all said goodbye, and gave hugs, and said bye to Opal, asleep in her bassinet.

“Did you buy a new bed?”

“Yes, I got it in last night.”

“Good. But we are sleeping in my room tonight. I’m so glad we were in your bed and my pillow didn't get ruined.”

Gansey rolled his eyes at him.

Later that night Ronan couldn’t take his eyes off of Opal sleeping in her crib right next to him. It felt like if he took his eyes off her, something bad would happen, so he laid there, Gansey behind him, holding him, and actually sleeping for once, and watched her breath. He lasted until 3 a.m. before exhaustion took over, and then he was woken right back up as Opal cried because she was hungry.

Making a bottle while holding her had already gotten easy.

“Ronan?” Gansey had woken up and he wasn’t there.

“She’s just hungry.”

Gansey nodded, but came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him while resting his head against his shoulder. And then Ronan started humming to the both of them.

Ronan was happy.

2 years later:

Ronan was walking with Opal through the grocery store. She was in the buggy and distracted by the tablet that Gansey had gotten her earlier that year. She was watching something that taught about shapes and colors and numbers, so at least it was educational and not just mind rotting.

He turned the corner and almost rammed the buggy into Kavinsky. And then he almost did it on purpose. They looked at each other for a second. The last time they had seen each other was a year and a half ago when they where discussing custody, and Kavinsky had basically said fuck off and that he didn’t want anything to do with them.

Kavinsky looked down at Opal, and then walked away.

Last Ronan heard, he was doing better, but apparently he was still a douche.

Later that night Ronan told Gansey about it.

“Fuck him.”

Opal looked up at Gansey.

“Fuck him.”

Gansey groaned

“Of course, it couldn’t be any of the times you said it that she decides to repeat a curse word, it’s when I do it.”

Ronan just grinned, and didn’t tell him that she had already been copying Ronan’s cursing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not an update, not really?? This is just my notes, cause this series lives in my brain rent free, and this is just all the stuff I know, but I dont think I want to write more for this series right now?? Maybe one day. But I also really want to go back and rewrite so much of it, and at the same time I really don't, so again, maybe one day I'll rewrite this, and ad more to it. For now, if you enjoyed this work, here's more about what happenes and if you didn't continue to ignore this, lol.

General Things;

Jordan and Declan are secretly married. A few months after Opal is born Declan finally tells Ronan about the fact that he’s married to Jordan. When asked why he didn’t tell him before he tells him about how it’s a secret, and Ronan didn’t need secrets when he was like he was.

Declan took over Niall’s company as a producer, but he refuses to produce anything that Ronan works on, including Dead Kings.

Hennessy makes most of the cover art for Dead Kings and Dream Thieves albums, and yes her and Ronan are friends, but she lives overseas.

In this au Jordan and Hennessy are twins.

Mathew is the only one out of the brothers who isn’t making music in some way.

Henry Adam and Blue’s relationship is a bit of a secret, and is kinda a scandal when it does get out. They are careful with it though, and only come out about it when Blue gets pregnant*.

The reason that Gansey calls Blue when he finds out Ronan is pregnant is because when they were together with Noah, they had talked about having kids together one day, and Blue had been doing a lot of research into it, she just couldn’t help teasing Gansey. Noah really wanted kids.

Ronan actually goes off T permanently after he has Opal. His voice never changes back, and like, that is the number one thing he was worried about, and he decides it's not something he needs anymore. (And again, he is enby in this fic).

*See Future Stuff.

Newborn Opal Stuff;

Ronan gets so many gifts from fans that are baby clothes that he has to donate most of it, cause there is no way for Opal to wear all of it before she grows out of it.

Adam was actually listening in on the call from Gansey in the first part of the fic, and that’s why he knows. Henry didn’t know cause he was out of state for those few weeks; he’s manager for a few bands, and he was getting shit done with a different band. Also Blue and Adam didn’t tell him cause they didn’t think it was their place + he was busy and they barely get to talk to him in the first place when he’s gone on business.

Gansey keeps a picture of Ronan holding Opal in his wallet. It was actually the moment they brought her home for the first time. Ronan is ‘showing’ Opal her bed, and Opal is looking up at him with big wide eyes, listening to him talk to her.

“All newborns look like blobfishes, I don’t make the rules.” “Ronan, she is your daughter!” “Yeah, and she looks like a blobfish!”

Blue: ”Ronan, what’s it like being a father?” “All she does is eat sleep shit and cry. I’m sleeping less than I ever have. Gansey is more of a mother hen than normal. Everytime I take my eyes off her I think something bad is gonna happen so I almost never let her out of my sight unless Gansey will hold her. I still don’t fit in most of my clothes, but I love her and it’s all worth it when she smiles.”

Adam gets Ronan one of those baby wraps in dark gray, and Ronan loves it so much.

I didn’t write about in the fic, but by the time Ronan tells his brothers he’s pregnant, he is ok with Kavinsky being the father, cause Kavinsky hasn’t once tried to contact him, and that’s ok with him.

Gansey notices that both Declan and Ronan talk to Opal in the same way, very serious and never any hint of baby talk, and when she bables back they’ll both respond like she responded to something they said, and continue like they are having a conversation. He’ll never point this out to them though.

When Opal is able to sit up on her own, and play finally, there are so many videos on Gansey’s phone of Ronan laying on the floor with her. In one of them he’s telling her shapes and colors and about the world around her, and she leans over and presses one of those open mouth kisses baby’s give to the top of his head and drools on him, and he just thanks her.

When Opal is 1 they find out she has a condition that affects her leg muscles, and she has to do physical therapy. When she gets older and starts walking, she does have to use crutches sometimes, but it depends on the day.

When she does start walking she is a little terror and runs everywhere, she is a leash child. (Nothing wrong with that btw, it lets them walk around and be independent but still with you so you can make sure nothing bad happens. Much better then the fucking idiots who litteraly leave their kids completely alone.).

Her first word is dada. Her favorite is no. And she is one of those kids who will say no even if she actually does want whatever it is you asked her about.

When she is still a baby and bable talking, she calls Ronan dada and Gansey de. And later when she is talking better they find out she’s trying to say the last three letters of Gansey's name, but ‘s’ is a hard sound for babies.

Ronan is daddy and Gansey is dad when she can talk in full sentences.

Kavinsky never asks for custody, but at some point he does get his shit together and asks to meet Opal. They don’t tell her that he’s her biological father until she’s in her teens, and he wants nothing to do with raising her, but they aren’t on bad terms for the rest of their lives, and they are civil when they see each other on tours and stuff. Gansey still doesn’t like him, and secretly thinks about where he could hide his body.

Future Stuff;

Ok, so in this au, the Barns were never off limits, but Ronan moves in with Gansey after a little while cause it hurts to be around all the things that remind him of his dad. And since their mom is fine in this au, he does go to visit her a lot. After she dies, he doesn’t go there for a long time, but when Opal turns four they move out there and fix the place up.

Opal loves living there, she plays outside all the time, and can’t get enough of it. Ronan gets her a very fancy playhouse. They have a barn cat and Ronan has a video on his phone of her slowly walking behind it as it pretends she’s not there.

Ronan proposes to Gansey when Opal is 4 almost 5. It isn’t a big wedding, but they do have something fancy. Opal is their flower girl and Ronan is glad they decided to have a rehearsal cause Opal tries to eat the flowers. (Listen, when I was a kid I wanted to eat flowers, just cause she is human in this au doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to eat weird shit ok. Heck I sometimes still want to eat weird shit.) Adam is Gansey’s best man, and Blue is Ronan’s. Declan and Mathew do stand on Ronan’s side, and Henry and Helen stand with Gansey as well. The guest list includes Gansey’s parents, Jordan and Hennessy. That’s it.

When Opal is six, Ronan gets pregnant again, still not exactly planned, but both him and Gansey are super happy about it. It’s another girl, and the only other kid they end up having. Her name is Sapphire.

Both of their middle names are after Ronan’s parents.

Opal does have blonde hair, but Sapphire has brown hair. Both of them get Ronan’s eyes and curls.

Both bands continue to make music until around the time Opal is 17 and Sapphire is 11. Dream Thieves puts out two more albums, and Dead Kings puts out like, 11 in total. Sleeping Pills disbands when Opal is about 7, but Kavinsky starts a duo with Porko, yes they are together, and they continue making music until they can’t anymore.

Henry, Blue and Adam are end game in this, and they do end up having a few kids together as well, the first around the time that Opal is 5, and the second when Opal is 7 and Sapphire is almost 1 and then they have another a bit later in life, when their other kids are about 13 and 11. (And Opal would be 18 and Sapphire would be 12.) 2 boys, 1 girl. One of the boys is named Noah.

Opal ends up playing the drums (at the age of like 6), and Ronan jokes about how she would kick to a beat while she was in the womb and how that makes sense. Blue is delighted.

Sapphire can sing and has a great voice and she plays the violin.

Opal and Sapphire do have a band together for a little while, but it doesn’t last. They put out two singles before Sapphire says she doesn’t want to make music, and it kinda creates a rift between them for a little while. 

Opal ends up in a band with Henry, Adam and Blue’s boys.

Opal is a lesbian. Sapphire is Ace.

Declan absolutely spoils them, giving them anything they ask for and then some. He gets them both brand new cars when they turn sixteen.

Mathew is Sapphire’s favorite uncle though don’t tell Declan.

*Gasp* Wine uncle Declan.

**Author's Note:**

> \- Gansey's band name - Dead Kings (fans call them the Gangsey)  
> \- Ronan's "side project" - Dream Thieves. It's not technically a side project, cause the rest of the band member are part of it still, but Ronan writes all the music for it, and it's very different in style to Dead Kings, and Ronan also does things very differently, as in, only sending the rest of the members their parts, and not letting them hear it at all til he's done/ its already out. They've only done a couple songs this way, and they understand why he does it, and they don't question his methods, cause he is just so much of a perfectionist that they trust him to only put out good music.  
> \- Kavinsky's band name - Sleeping Pills.  
> -I got this idea while listening to The Dream Is Over - PUP, and at the same time I was reading The Dream Thieves, and the opening song made me think about Ronan thinking of Kavinsky (If This Tour Doesn't Kill You) and then DVP reminded me of Ronsey, and then my brain decided to fit the rest of the songs to an au. So Here we are.  
> \- Trans/NB Ronan, he prefers he/him pronouns, but doesn't actually care all that much. Is masc rep, and has gotten top surgery, and is on T, but that's all he wants. ( What if. I just gave each of my favorite characters a piece of myself. Like... what if i just gave them my entire gender identity, lol).  
> \- Ronan's shitty year;him and Adam break up, Noah was murdered, Dead Kings goes on hiatus, his mom passed away, and then Chainsaw died (On the anniversary of his dad dying. yeah i know, i know, i suck). None of this was mentioned in the fic.  
> \- Things to note, Ronan changes things in songs, so while Pine Point has a line about a brother dying it's kinda meant to mean his dad (in this au, I'm not trying to take away meaning from the artist, I'm just basing an au off of it.) But not all of them. The Coast is another that he 'changed' the subject, but it still has meaning. (Is about Noah's death).  
> \- DVP is a confession song for Ronan to Gansey (even outside this au it reminds me so much of them). Old Wounds is probably about Declan.  
> \- Opal is preme, so she's going to be born at 33 weeks (Nov. 16). Not too early, but still early enough that they are going to be in the hospital a couple days.  
> \- Later in life she needs crutches, but it's got nothing to do with being preme. This wasn’t mentioned in the fic.  
> -Band roles;  
> \- Ronan is lead guitar for Dead Kings, and Lead Vocals/Guitar for Dream Thieves. But can also play piano  
> -Gansey is lead Vocals and second guitar for Dead Kings, and backup vocals/second guitar for Dream Thieves. But can also play violin and piano.  
> -Blue is Drums (like. i know Ronan on drums would be good too but, fuck Blue on drums is such a good thing in my mind) for Dead Kings and Dream Theives.  
> -Adam is bass for Dead Kings and Dream Thieves.  
> -Noah was in the band, he was second guitar, but then, well, canan shit happens, and since this is not canon, he is not a ghost.  
> -Henry is their manager.  
> \- I like Kavinsky, but like. He would be so toxic for Ronan.  
> -me in the last fic 'wow writing from Ronan's perspective is hard' my brain 'here, inspo for another fic from Ronan's perspective.' me 'fuck'.  
> -Read as I bullshit my way through an obgyn appointment.  
> -That herb that Ronan takes is real but i don't remember what its called, but my mom took it in pill form and she swears by it.  
> \- I didn't write the birth, cause like i don't fuckin know how.  
> \- This didn't come up in the fic: Blue Henry and Adam are also together, Past relationships include Blue and Adam (For like a month) Then Ronan and Adam were together, along with Blue Gansey and Noah. Ronan and Adam broke up, and then Noah was murdered and Gansey and Blue split on good terms but they just couldn't be together and move on at the same time. Gansey and Ronan have been pinning for each other for a long time, but like what else is new.  
> \- Oh! I know I mentioned it a lot, so I'll explain. When Ronan left Monmouth the last time before moving back in, Gansey said something about Ronan and Kavinsky that was very inappropriate, and Ronan snapped and responded with something along the lines of "I'd rather be sucking his dick every night then ever having to live another second with you." and thats that. Gansey had been trying to convince Ronan to move back in. And then Ronan walked out the door and didn't come back til the start of this fic 4 months later.


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